Gimme That Old Time Idolatry!

[D]o you ever get tired of trying to live a good and moral life?  Are you a Christian who’s burned out from all your charity work?  Weary of always helping your neighbor?  Fed up with constantly turning the other cheek?  Well you’re not alone.  Thousands of believers, haggard from long years of visiting the sick, giving to mission projects and watching over widows and orphans are taking a more sensible approach to religion.  And you can too!

Photo Courtesy of Thinkstock

Photo Courtesy of Thinkstock

There is a tried and true method for getting what you really deserve out of life without all the bother of “loving your neighbor.”  This system has been around for centuries and has maintained strong interest worldwide.  It’s called idolatry and it may be just what you’re looking for. The key to your gratification!

Now when you hear the word idolatry, it may conjure up images of ancient barbarians bowing down to statues of wood, stone or gold.  You may think of strange heathen tribes reciting mysterious incantations, participating in secretive rituals or maybe even offering virgin sacrifices to volcano gods.  But if that sort of religious experience doesn’t appeal to you then I’ve got good news.  Idolatry doesn’t have to be that primitive.  It doesn’t have to be that strange.  In fact, according to the Apostle Paul, idolatry is much more familiar to us than we realize.  Ephesians 5:5 and Colossians 3:5 put it this way:

“For a greedy person is really an idolater who worships the things of this world.”
“Don’t be greedy for the good things of this life, for that is idolatry.”

You see, idolatry is actually quite simple.  It’s mostly based on greed.  It’s about grabbing the best for yourself and watching out for Number One.  It’s a belief system that says, “I’m the most important person in the world to me.  I want everything done my way.  I want to accumulate all the wealth, power, influence and possessions I can so that my life will be comfortable and worry-free.”

Wow, with a belief system as simple as that, you can see why idolatry isn’t just for heathen’s anymore!  Now everyone can enjoy the benefits of living a completely self-absorbed life.  Let’s go over a few simple steps on how you and I can get started living a life of idolatry.  It’s as easy as 1-2-3!

Step 1 – Always look out for yourself.

This is rule number one for successfully living in idolatry.  Let others worry about their own problems.  You need to live a life that pleases only you.  Your wants are what’s important.  Your needs are all that matter.  If others are helped or hurt along the path to your success, it makes no difference.  Keep the focus on you.  Never do anything for anyone else unless it somehow benefits you in return.

Step 2 – Get ahead at all costs.

Fame may be a fickle friend, but it sure feels good for the fleeting moments you have it.  So work to become famous for something.  Don’t worry if you have to pull some strings or shade the truth to reach your goal.  The end result is what’s most important.  You might even want to start some damaging gossip about people who stand in the way of your success. A good rumor could kill the career of a rival and propel you up the ladder of success. Go for it!

Step 3 – Have a passion for your possessions.

Your major goal in life should be to passionately pursue as much money and possessions as possible. Store up some serious treasure for yourself here on earth. Forget about the “little people” surrounding you. Keep striving for the biggest house you can get, the best cars available, the fanciest designer duds around, the priciest toys and the flashiest vacations. Then dedicate your life to kicking back and enjoying it all.  You’re worth it!  Let others fend for themselves.  You should always insist on getting the best of everything for yourself.  Just remember the phrase “greed is good.”

Now this list is not comprehensive.  It’s just a starter to get you going. But you see how easy idolatry can be?  It means you can stop thinking about eternal truths and instead focus on things of this world. What a relief!

Sure the Bible condemns idolatry, but there are plenty of people today who ignore scripture and live life on their own terms.  Once you get started on the path to practical idolatry, you’ll find you have lots of company!  Sound good?  Let’s do it!

Oh, and if you and I are really ready to embrace the ideals of idolatry, we should completely disregard this final message from the Apostle Paul:

“Let heaven fill your thoughts.  Do not think only about things down here on earth.  For you died when Christ died, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:3-4  NLT


Question: How attractive do you think idolatry is? Does it sound doable?  (Share your thoughts in the comments) 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.